Off to Hongkong

Got booked a ticket to Hongkong!

Preparation, anti-tan 'serum', works for me

Always drink before flight... including alcohol

Even in Hongkong I ate instant noodles ..... seriously. Went to Hon Wo for brunch tho. If the price stays the same, it is seriously the place I'd go thousand times. Their meats are thick and soft, sooooo yummy *////*

I forget where's the place but really, the first time in years I see rainbow! I was like.... wowwww. Shamelessly.

Ciao,
Bern

Just a Thought...

Hello!

Warning: Long entry.

Just now I saw one of my friend posted about she didn't get it how people at her age wants to get married, on her Facebook.

Taken from: Here

I remember that I was so eager about marrying someone, the kind of tomorrow can do. I had that thought when I was... If I remember, 17. I was a sophomore in high school and I read comic, the mother had her when she was 16... I was... WOW. I mean, I want to be not too old when I have my child. I want to be able to play with my grandchildren.

My mom used to told me about her friend who acted and dressed as if she's my age. Hot pants, super tight tank top, large hoop earrings, boots... It will look good if she's good-looking, or at least lean. But she's... duh.

Hidden message: Don't get married too young because you won't have time to enjoy your youth and you will end up like that.

Mom! What if it's only your friend who was like that?

But I quite understand that my mom wants me to live my youth so that later I be a mature adult without having to act like I'm an over-age teenager when I take my child to school. If I act and dress like that, I will not just embarrass myself—that I can take—but I will embarrass my child as well.

Society = Full of gossip.

That is one of some common knowledge.

Then when I was 19 I changed 180°. I told my mom that I won't get married, so no grandchild from me, I will live alone and die without child/husband to mourn for me.

She was shocked and tried to convince me that I somehow need to get married so then I will have others to take care of me when I turn to an old grumpy woman. Oops. Sorry grandmas out there! Didn't mean to insult you.  I was like, "It's my life, I will die alone if that's what I want." And she was like, "Just telling you that it won't be that nice." HMP. That's what you get from always telling me to just focus on your studies.

And then now that I am 22 and of legal age to get married.

Well, not that I have someone to get married with! *sobs*

I thought like, "Ah, I want to have a child that looks like me and have my personality. I don't really care if it's a boy or a girl."

I CHANGED MY MIND!

If I really have a child that have my personality... I think I will jump off my flat balcony.

What?

I'm a total rule breaker. I fought with other kids. I have a mouth of a sailor. And other bad things I won't reveal here because it's too much, believe me it is.

If my child has my personality, I can guess that I will be called straight to the headmaster/headmistress office almost everyday for a complete 14 years. Kindergarten, junior school, middle school, high school. Worst, I can think I will have to move my child to other school after getting warned about being expelled. Schools might it be.

As a student I never cheated, skipped class, or other bad doings that violate the education rules. What I violated was... well, behaviour rules. My headmaster and headmistress from junior school to high school knew my mom well enough.

I think this one is quite funny, despite what I did was not good.

This happened when I was in grade 8. I used to not wear my uniform tie, untucked my uniform shirt and left the two first buttons unbuttoned, and unbutton my vest.  Well I went to private school therefore our uniform was different and more complicated than the public school, which I dislike. And then my headmaster caught me breaking the rules, he was standing on the first floor and I was on ground floor, that hawk eyes of his. What did he do? He chased me, running from first floor to ground floor and continued chasing me while blowing his whistle... which I found quite funny. I thought of that as an afternoon exercise. I kept running until I accidentally slipped over a puddle of cendol that my friend spilled and fell laying on the floor on my back. I haven't graced with sailor mouth back then. Yeah that's how I got my lunch time exchanged with a 30-minute session of nagging.

And this one happened when I was in grade 7. I was bored after school and didn't go straight home. I strolled around the school ground, that's when I found a lonely trolley. I was bored and there's a trolley, I can have some fun with it. I took it and rode it like it was a skateboard. Until... I rode too fast and bumped to fire extinguisher containers. Those containers were made of glass. Yeah as you can guess, I broke one container and cracked one (or more). I was like... okay, let's leave it be.

I'm sure I was a mean ass menace. Not a school delinquent tho.

See? If I ended up having a child whom personality will be like mine... IT MUST BE KARMA! Lord, have your mercy on me.

I don't know and wouldn't know how hard my parents raised me.

I'm not saying they have failed in raising me. If I ever hear someone spouting that nonsense, I swear a good whack in the head using my roaring chainsaw would be awarded to one who said that, no matter who you are or who your parents are. I'm unstoppable, even lots of nagging and punishment can't stop me. So I take that my parents have stopped trying to punish me from years ago.

My parents raised me to be a good girl. They have disciplined me more than enough. It's just that I'm sick of it and decided to be a rebel. Thank God it's only me who turned out to be the rebel of the family.

Maybe if I have a child/children I will raise them in a different way. I will raise them in fun way but I will be strict if it's needed.

My personality is different from my mom, she's sweet while I'm thousand miles away from it. Of course I will take the different way in raising child.

If I have the groom-to-be I will drag him with me to the nearest church and marry him. Keyword: If I have.

Oh wait, here's the 'fun'.

If I want to have a child, I have to get married. Well, I'm not one who will do ONS and give birth to an illegitimate child. I want my child have a father. I didn't say about my child having a father until he/she grows up.

First off, I don't really care about the long last marriage. I care about it, but it's not my life goal. Wait until my mother hears about this, she will flip out.

Others may have either to be a billionaire or to go around the world or to conquer the world (such a life goal) or maybe to immigrate to Mars or whatsoever. But mine is simple, to have a child/children. Grandchild/grandchildren will be the minor life goal.

I will get married, have a child or two, if the marriage can last long it will be better but if it can't then I don't think I will really have problems.

Sure my child/children will be victim of broken family. But I will try to play the role of a father lest the worst happens.

I want to see how my child turns out!

I tried to morph my face with... well artist since I don't have groom-to-be candidate, and it turned out like...

The boys

The girls

And I am 22 right now.

Ciao,
Bern

Birthday Surprise

Hello!

Yesterday I, Trisna's boyfriend, Wenna and the others went to Trisna's house to throw a surprise birthday celebration for Trisna :D

We brought the birthday cake with candles (which was later discovered that it contains too much cream and too sweet), a single red rose, things we will dump on her later, and of course the birthday present.

First Wenna and her friend fetch me from home and because my house is foreign to them I had to draw the map. But the map done no good because of my poor quality of phone camera. Then I described the way to my house. Thank God they arrived without getting lost (or so I've been told) despite my bad description of the way. And then we zoomed to the meeting point to plan things. Mc Cafe, where Wenna and her friend bought foods while I didn't because I just ate before they came to fetch me.

Later Trisna's boyfriend came with his friends and as soon as we finished planning (which was about 11:45 PM) we went to Trisna's house.

We made the mixture of soda, flour, etc right there. And when we're going to light up the candles... we realized that none of us had lighter or match. We lent it from the shop keeper in front of the house.

Right at 00:00 AM, Trisna's boyfriend called her to come down. Thankfully she complied.

Then he brought the cake with the already lit up candles on his hands and sang 'happy birthday song' to her. She then asked to make a wish while closing her eyes.

Ah, that's when one of her friends dumped the mixture on her >:)

But then she came and hugged me to share the yuckiness of the mixture :(

We then managed to take some photos, cut and shared the cake and made her open her birthday present :)

When it's all done, we went home.

And I took a bath at 1 in the morning.

At 7 PM that day, we met again on Gajah Mada Plaza for Trisna's birthday treat.

Ciao,
Bern

P.S: I thought we're going to do the birthday surprise in front of her room because last time I threw a birthday surprise we did it in front of my friend's room. And Trisna got 4 dogs... Yeah, read again about what I've written about me and dogs, we are no friend.

With Egg and Bread

Hello!



Today I can't find anything served on the dinning table so I made my own ... dinner? Too soon to be called dinner and too late to be called lunch!

I can be happy with just egg alone but just egg won't make me full, then I got bread to eat and decided to make egg-in-a-hole and ... actually I wanted to make two egg-in-a-hole(s) but something happened.

I got my Teflon Pan returned to my mother so she got me another one, which is non-Teflon. Just a regular fry pan. Regular fry pan doesn't have the nonstick coating and that's the bad thing.

My supposed to be good egg-in-a-hole went bad.

It stuck to the pan and I can't pull it off the pan.

But I won't throw it to the bin just because it went bad— unless I got it all burnt, that's an exception. I taught myself that.

So for the second egg, I decided to boil it. Then make sticks from the bread loaf and toasted them to crisp.

Despite the bad presentation of the egg-in-a-hole, it tasted good! There, don't judge food by its presentation.

I had a cup of cappuccino after it :D

Ciao,
Bern

Party Nails!

Hello!

I've promised Winda to paint her nails today, so I brought my nail polish set with me to class :D and... I brought none class-related thing... I'm such a good student! *rolls eyes*

Winda

Base: Skinfood Beige Nail Polish

Glitter: Faceshop Gold Big Glitter

I ran out of my base and top coat :( I need to buy them next time I go to Faceshop.

Trisna

Base: Faceshop Black Nail Polish

Glitter: Faceshop Gold Big Glitter

Winda applied the glitter this time :D

Me?

I need to rest my nails for my own sake, I got them yellowed... okay whatever you call it but they are not in a good condition now. I need to applied nail vitamin and etc I don't know :( meh.

I hope I can apply my everyday black nail polish again. ASAP.

Ciao,
Bern

Fun with Photoshop!

Hello *is sulking*

I'm Bored :( I got nothing to do! This is Sunday and here I am rolling on my bed! (((o(>_<)o)))

But it's okay! I found a way to have mini fun by using.......

Photoshop!

Humph. I know I ain't no Photoshop guru but, my Photoshop skill is more than adequate :P seriously stop boasting, woman!

Okay okay -_-;;;

So, here are some Photoshop-ed pictures of mine. I'll show you the base picture first.

Base

Everyday fresh face :D and proud of it!

Well, because I can't apply makeup.... :/

First Change

Notice the difference? No? -_-

Actually I was going to change it to grey (like Draco Malfoy *_*) but I can't find the grey eyes! Psh. So yeah, I changed it to... I don't know what to call the colour.

And I drew the eyebrows, applied mascara and change the eye shape.

Second Change

Eyeshadow! Woo hoo!! But why the colour..... *face palm* I was going to put naked palette like makeup. Oh, and the white eye highlighter.

Third Change

Blush on! Err, can you see that? Or is it too much?

Fourth Change, finishing!

Eyeliner :D

I was debating with myself whether to applied eyeliner or not.  And I applied it, and it turned..... quite okay.

Done!

I will put the before and after picture :D

Wait. That's not before and after makeup picture but..... before and after plastic surgery OTL

I look like an alien who just invaded the earth! *pulls hair*

This is sad I can't apply makeup in real life but I can apply makeup on Photoshop. Maybe I will learn how to apply makeup for later purpose, hello workplace?

Ciao, 

Bern

Honey + Cinnamon = Weight Loss!

Hello!

As I read on callmejagi's blog, this entry, there's a way to lose some pounds.

Here's the recipe:

1. Use honey and cinnamon, 1 cinnamon and 2 honey.
2. Put the cinnamon on a cup, don't put the honey yet.
3. Boil a cup of water and pour it on your cup of cinnamon, leave to steep for about 30 minutes.
4. After the liquid's cooled, add the honey. Never add honey to a hot liquid because it will destroy the enzymes in the raw honey.
5. Drink half of the cup before you sleep, cover and refrigerate
6. Drink the rest in the next morning, on empty stomach.
7. Do not add anything to the recipe.

Additional information:

1. Inches will be lost before you will notice the scale creeping downward.
2. The cinnamon and honey cleanses parasites, fungus and bacteria out of the digestive tract.
3. You may experience side effects due to the release of toxicity.
4. You may experience increased energy, better sex drive and a better mood.
5. The formula will block your body from gaining fat.

Credit: Here

I don't know if this will work, but I know how to lose some pounds my way:

1. Stop being a carnivore (well, most likely will never happen).
2. Daily exercise
3. Eat vegetables (I only eat carrot, broccoli and cabbage for my vegetable)
4. Take a book and go to the toilet, have a nice time! (by doing this I can lose 2 pounds LoL seriously)

Ciao,
Bern

Coming Soon: Exam Weeks!!!!!

Hey!

I got three days off from classes!

Three days off before exam weeks start.

Can't really say that I'm currently relaxing at home with clear mind. Can not. Because I clearly don't. I'm relaxing at home, right. But my mind is full with exam thing. It probably will be my last semester in Tarumanagara University before I take the last semester to write essay.

Why are you thinking so much of it? I thought you don't really study?

Correct!

But that's not it.

It probably will be my last semester before my essay semester, but...... I can't write essay if I fail one subject. I can't get D on my report card.

I'm fine with Tax Plan, Fraud Accounting, SPA, Accounting Seminar, BLK, International Examination Standard. I like fraud auditing anyway :D my most favorite subject in this semester.

I'm not fine with Organizational Behavior. I have to memorize all those sentences 100%. My lecturer is someone who is a total textbook. One wrong word and you're done. Even the punctuation marks........ hell. It's hard to pass that class unless you have a photographic memory or you eat the whole book -_- or....... the easiest way......... by cheating.

Now I'm writing this post with opened books on my lap, I'm studying. Wow! I'm studying! It's something worth to be celebrated...... LOL!

Might end up like this....... most likely

Sir, I can't study because my cat is sleeping on my books!

So, talk to you later!

Ciao, 

Bern

It's Over

Hi!

LOL just like the singer name, Lee Hi.

This song is pretty catchy, the melody and the lyrics. And if you watch the MV, it's pretty understandable and not like any other KPOP song, hard to understand, this one is pretty easy. Too lazy to capture the MV to explain the 'understandable' parts. But if you're not that dumb, you can understand it *nods*.

I've been listening to this song over and over again, and yet it's still catchy to my ears. Her voice is not common girl's voice, not squeaky..........(wtf  did I say?!) Anyway! I somehow want to cover (re-sing) it :D

Lee Hi - It's Over { English Translation }

There are many twinkling stars in the sky
Are we breaking up now?*

Don’t view me so easily
Was giving you my heart a big mistake?
The common words “what goes in and what comes out are different”
Is this what it means?
Was I baggage to you?
Then just put me down

Your useless stubborn nature, the lies that you tell all the time
It’s always however you want, whatever you want
For several days straight, I’ve been walking on this empty street alone
I want to leave you this way

* You will regret it, you will pound the ground
You will realize your mistakes soon
I never wanna ever see you again

** Can you hear my voice?
It’s over, it’s over so baby goodbye
Can you hear these words?
It’s over, it’s over so baby goodbye
Now I won’t cover my eyes and cry again

I said, I said, I said oh oh oh

I feel relieved as if my exams are over
Now that I look back, I was really unhappy
I will run away from being hidden under your shadow
Under the blue sky and find myself
Was I baggage to you?
Then just put me down

Your useless stubborn nature, the lies that you tell all the time
It’s always however you want, whatever you want
For several days straight, I’ve been walking on this empty street alone
I won’t ever go back to you

* Repeat

** Repeat

I said, I said, I said over

If your love has cooled
Don’t hold onto me because you don’t want to give me up to someone else (x2)

Can you hear my voice?
It’s over, it’s over so baby goodbye
Can you hear these words?
It’s over, it’s over so baby goodbye

There are many twinkling stars in the sky
Are we breaking up now?

* in Korea star is 'byul 별', and break up is 'i byul 이별' word play

Lyrics taken from click click

Ciao, 

Bern

Throwback

Hola!

Just like what I wrote as the title, throwback.

I was browsing through my high school photo folder and found this. I was like, "Who are you....?" Because I somehow look different now :'( now that I want to cry huuuu.

I did this photoshoot self-camera (please I shot it by myself, what photoshoot :P) right after my high school's prom night, well after changing my clothes..... you have no idea of what I wore! Not like I'm going to tell (¬д¬。) and yeah, I didn't apply that much make up, for I didn't know how to use eyeliner, eyebrows pencil, mascara, etc. I only put blush on and lip gloss and was too lazy to go to get my make up done at salon.

-ahem- So yeah, this is how I looked..... minus the headband..... total retard for taking it in a photo (；¬д¬)

LOL my friends and my sister friends' thought it's my sister (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ that's moi....!

And yeah I used to be in shape....

WAIT. I'm in shape too now!

Size: Patrick

Sad but LMFAO.

Ciao, 

Bern

Kitty........ meow?

Bonjour~!!


This time I want to post about..............

AREN'T THEY THE CUTEST?!

They're so cute I wanna cry T_T

When I say I want to keep a cat, some of my friends said, "I think you're scared of cat?!"
Yes. I do scared of cats.
BUT!
I can stand black cats :D ......... *wearing 'weirdo' as my scarf*

I want to keep a cat as my pet because they're warm, not clingy and I don't have to take them for a walk.... well hello to my lazy self. I somehow need a pet, a quite big one. Not a turtle or a hamster or a fish or a bird. Please, it's not like I despise those kinds. I just want something I can walk with, I can hug, I can cuddle while sleeping (newsflash: If you cuddle a grumpy cat while sleeping, you'll wake up with scratches on your face). And I heard cats are fun to live with..... well, some cats.


If I have one I will feed them with my least favorite food.......... VEGETABLES! :D well, I will turn my cats into vegetarians *nods* so if my mama makes me eat veggies, I'll just shove them all to my cat's plate. HA! Another solution other than making my papa eats it! >:D smart me~~~ LOL

So I googled about it and found two breeds I want.

Russian Blue.

Soooooooo elegant.

I mean, look at those eyes and that pose.

&

Bombay

What can I say more? They come in black...... me gusta >_<

Oh my......... they're so wanted.

Russian Blue

The Russian Blue is an intelligent, curious, and tranquil animal. They are known for their friendliness, but are shy with strangers. They have been known to play fetch, and are sensitive to human emotions. They enjoy playing with a variety of toys and develop loyal bonds to their loved ones.The Russian Blue gets along well with other pets and children (we can skip this because I have no children at the time) in a household. They can be quiet, only meowing occasionally, but can also be very talkative. They are clean animals that are normally reserved around strangers, unless they are brought up in an active household. They love to play with other small pets, such as dogs, cats and ferrets. Many Russian Blues have been trained to do tricks. They are a very intelligent breed.

Bombay

Smart and agile, they often retrieve and will seek out interaction with humans. Visitors' purses or packages are thoroughly inspected. Head bumpers and nose rubbers, they love nothing more than to be held. Some can be very talkative and they have a distinctive voice.

Why do I want Russian Blue and or Bombay?

They both have short hair, I can't stand hairy animals because I have asthma (better if I don't keep cat, but I still want oTL), they're VERY intelligent. As for Russian Blue, they are clean and love to play with other pets -so I can keep another pets without fearing they will try to kill each other while I'm not at home, they're clean, quiet and loyal. And again because they have short hair, I don't need to go to salon to cat salon to groom them. They don't need to get brushed once in a while too and I don't have to worry about another fur carpet made by their falling hair.

As for Bombay, even if they're not independent and kind of spoiled, but..... THEY COME IN BLACK. Seriously subjective.

I honestly want to keep them as my pet but........ it's illegal. And again, my home ain't that huge to keep such animals. I heard Prince of Dubai, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, keeps Cheetah and other wild animals as pet. Yeah yeah, he has a huuuuuuuuuge house to keep them. Envy :(

Yes my dear human friends, it's a cat not a pillow.

Himalayan

They have long hair (asthma alert) and they need to be groomed once in a while!! Hola mi lazy self oTL

I guess that ends my post about cat T_T I so want them. It'll be good if my parents allow me to have one T_T cry cry I so envy Prince Fazza.

So where's the veggies you've been mentioning?! RAWR~!

Night!

-----------------------------------------------

Pictures credit:

1. http://itsybitsysteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/toothless.jpg
2. http://thedailymingus.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/mingus_super_cute_sweater_shot2.jpg
3. http://dims.vetstreet.com/dims3/MMAH/resize/645x380/quality/90/http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.prod.vetstreet.com/71/6dca90a34011e087a80050568d634f/file/Russian-Blue-1-645mk062211.jpg
4. http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1403/1459369309_9f925eaf0c.jpg
5. https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJhz9V6KtbbRlng_QCr7_uP2Ez8YSLAUWuAyKiVszALYwiyYqooLhMU67yeIELJTESPouU10zBncuviIh04x3R9RXmCSukyAMkGSiU1N5mQ5kFQaqEwVcynxxww1PdnJTsSkVRAkx4Gik/s1600/Bombay%252BCat%252BVarieties%252B02.jpg
6. http://images.canadianlisted.com/nlarge/burmese-stunning-black-kittens-2-5-months-old_5722073.jpg
7. http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6090/6149181010_1a83f90454_z.jpg
8. http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4687424528_5d5d72378d_b.jpg
9. http://www.andreaharner.com/archives/DtheRussianBlueCat.jpg

Ciao,
Bern

Happy 22nd Bernday!

Clear enough, huh?

Not going to deny anything about being 22, somehow old they said, wait until I'm 99 bitches.

I wish for more inches in height

I kinda need it more than I need more weight.

Well whatever,

Happy birthday to me!

Long happy blessed rich lovely successful life!

Ciao,
Bern

Mimpi?

Halo!

Entah kenapa gue ingin sekali-kali menulis dalam bahasa pertama gue, Indonesia. Bukannya bosan dengan Bahasa Inggris, tapi hanya saja gue merasa posting ini lebih nyaman bila ditulis dalam bahasa sehari-hari gue :)

Sebagai seorang anak tentu saja gue punya mimpi, atau lebih tepatnya pernah punya mimpi. Ya, pernah.

Dulu ketika masih kecil, mama bertanya tentang apa cita-cita gue. Gue yang sejak waktu kecil nakal menjawab, "Ingin jadi gangster", akibat terlalu banyak menonton film gangster Hongkong. Lalu mama marah. Orang tua mana yang tidak marah bila anaknya ingin jadi gangster. Itu terjadi ketika gue berumur 7 tahun, masih kecil saja cita-cita sudah seperti itu.

Seiring berjalannya waktu, cita-cita gue berubah, dari menjadi gangster menjadi artis. Bukan artis sinetron atau penyanyi, namun lebih ke arah seni rupa dan desain. Gue tertarik untuk menjadi artis karena semasa sekolah menengah pertama gue mengambil pelajaran desain grafis dan seni lukis, dan gue sangat menikmati hal tersebut. Warna-warna, lukisan, mendesain, dan semacamnya. Jauh lebih tertarik daripada melihat angka.

Namun setelah gue membaca novel tentang manusia berkepribadian ganda, gue tertarik untuk menjadi psikolog klinis. Entah kenapa topik mengenai kepribadian ganda menarik gue untuk mempelajari lebih lanjut.

Menginjak bangku sekolah menengah atas, gue berubah haluan. Dari yang tadinya tidak tertarik dengan angka-angka, gue menjadi tertarik kepada matematika. Walaupun gue anak program sosial, namun itu tidak menghentikan ketertarikan gue akan matematika. Gue suka menghitung, mengerjakan soal mat, bukan berarti gue tertarik dengan dunia akuntansi.

Gue sama sekali tidak tertarik dengan akuntansi.

Tidak pernah terlintas di pikiran gue bahwa akuntansi adalah pelajaran yang menarik, akuntan adalah pekerjaan yang menantang dan menarik gue. Tidak pernah sekalipun.

Namun hal tersebut berubah ketika gue harus memasuki masa kuliah, atau lebih tepatnya dipaksa berubah.

Gue mengutarakan keinginan gue untuk mempelajari lebih lanjut tentang seni rupa dan desain, namun keinginan tersebut ditolak mentah-mentah oleh kedua orang tua gue dengan alasan, "Lukisan tidak dapat memberi kamu makan karena jarang yang membeli." Ya gue belum tahu tentang hal itu.

Gue lalu mengganti jurusan yang akan gue ambil menjadi psikologi. Namun mereka juga tetap menolak mentah-mentah dengan alasan, "Untuk apa jadi psikologi? Untuk apa mengurusi orang gila? Nanti kamu ikut gila." Gue rasa mereka berpikiran tertutup.

Lalu terakhir gue mengganti pilihan jurusan menjadi matematika. Hal tersebut jelas ditolak oleh kedua orang tua gue, lagi-lagi, dengan alasan, "Mau kerja apa kamu nanti? Guru? Berapa gajinya? Makan saja tidak cukup."

Jujur saja, gue belum pernah khawatir akan uang dan akan hari esok. Gue selalu yakin bahwa Tuhan selalu menjaga gue, jadi apa yang harus gue khawatirkan. Burung-burung saja Ia pelihara. Dan gue memang nyatanya belum pernah khawatir tentang itu.

Gue bingung dan sedih karena semua yang gue mau rasanya tidak sesuai dengan apa yang mereka mau. Mereka ingin gue menjadi akuntan. Pekerjaan yang sama sekali tidak gue sukai, sama sekali tidak pernah dan tidak akan pernah menarik minat gue. Duduk di kantor dari jam 8 sampai jam lembur, pantat terpaku pada kursi dan jari-jari pada keyboard, bukanlah sesuatu yang gue harapkan.

Ya tentu gue memberontak, gue tidak ingin menjadi akuntan. Namun tiba-tiba mama mengatakan kalau selain akuntansi, ia tidak akan memberikan restu. Gue jelas tahu kalau sesuatu yang dikerjakan tanpa restu orang tua tidak akan berhasil. Dengan berat hati akhirnya gue memilih akuntansi dan diterima.

Pelajaran yang paling gue benci.

Hari-hari perkuliahan gue jalani dengan berat hati, satu-satunya yang membuat gue senang adalah teman-teman gue di kampus. Jadi sejujurnya, gue kuliah hanya untuk bertemu dengan teman-teman. Gue tidak belajar dengan serius. Pelajaran yang gue ikuti dengan serius hanyalah, matematika ekonomi dan mikro ekonomi. Ya, hanya yang berkaitan dengan matematika. Untuk pelajaran lainnya, bukunya saja tidak pernah gw buka, masih rapi seperti baru dan bisa dijual lagi.

Gue pikir orang tua gue akan mengerti gue kalau gue sangat tidak suka akuntansi dan sangat merasa tersiksa menjalaninya. Namun nyatanya tidak. Walaupun gue tahu mereka melakukan itu untuk kebaikan gue sendiri, kebaikan yang bahkan gue tidak tahu apa itu...... dan gue yakin mereka juga tidak tahu.

Sampai gue mengikuti seminar NSCD, ada satu kalimat yang dikatakan oleh motivator yang menjadi pembicara akan gue ingat terus.

Ya sudahlah kalau sudah terlanjur salah jurusan, diselesaikan saja. Namanya memenuhi keinginan orang tua.

Ya. Memenuhi keinginan orang tua. Berbakti.

Kalau gue masih dibilang tidak berbakti kepada orang tua........ gue tidak tahu lagi untuk apa sebenarnya gue buang-buang waktu 4 tahun secara percuma tanpa tujuan.

Jadi kalau ditanya tujuan lain gue kuliah akuntansi, gue akan menjawab,

"Lumayan ijazahnya bisa dipajang di lemari pajangan nyokap."

Ya, mungkin begitu.

Sekarang kalau ditanya lagi apa mimpi gue............ gue tidak tahu. Gue tidak punya mimpi lagi.

Credit: Bob-a-loo

Ironis.................

Ciao, 

Bern

Window Shopping

Hello!

I was thinking about getting my hair back to blonde. And dip the bottom of the hair to red color, I've imagined it haha :) But somehow I'm afraid that if I bleached my hair again, I will harm my hair. I'm now still repairing my hair and don't plan to re-harm it oTL re-harm? Whatever, you know what I mean.

So......... I was thinking about buying a wig and dye it as what I want.

I want it to come in this color.

I want it to come in this color so that I can dip it in red or another.

But what surprised me was............ when I asked to the seller, she said that I can't dye the wig. Because it's not 100% human hair. If I want to dye it, I have to buy the one that 100% made from human hair, which comes in price about $300 or more.

As if I shit gold.

But then I said to the seller that I will buy the wig when platinum blonde color available in Indonesia, because now it's not available yet. She said she'll inform me when it's available :)

Ciao,
Bern

Holiday is Over

Yo!

Holiday is over. Tomorrow I'll have to go to class again. This is so not happening *pulls hair* but it has to happen oTL

I will tell a story about the previous me and the current me.

The previous me was someone who takes everything seriously, takes everything to heart. Whenever I play, I play with feeling, with my all. I was someone who kind to everyone, yeah I'm not shitting or plain bluffing. I was very welcoming and cheerful. I was someone who was forgiving. I was someone who has a childlike aura.

The current me is someone who doesn't take anything to heart, more like.... I feel like I don't have to. Whenever I play, it's just all game, no need to be so serious about it. Game is just for fun. I'm someone who's not kind to just anyone, I'm picky. I'm now cold to new people and just real cold. Fuck with forgiving. Now I am someone who has the dark heavy arrogant aura.

I don't feel good about this. I somehow want to go back to the previous me who I think is better.

But my past is what my current self made of.

Betrayal. Being used. Ignored.

I'm tired of being kind to people if they're just gonna use me, betray me and then ignore me.

I like those who tell my fault to my face than those who're bitching behind my back. Oh come on, tell it to my face I dare you. Because I will do the same, but I don't feel anything wrong with you, that's why I don't tell you.

The current me think like..........

Life is complicated. Don't think too hard, don't take every single thing to heart, just take it easy.

Life is already hard, don't make it even harder.

Not a very good entry but, this is how I really feel.

I hope I can change.

Night!

Love Quotes My Friend Gave To Me

Just like the title, my friend gave me love quotes. She was like sprinkling salt to my opened wounds. But I like her quotes because those were so right, although I was like being stabbed oTL

No love can hurt as much as the love that can never be and no thought can hurt as much as the thought of a love that could have been.

You cannot teach what you don’t know. You cannot give what you don’t have. You cannot forgive what you can’t forget. But you can love even if you’re not being loved back.

Sometimes you think when they say that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Who can say what's better when your heart becomes the cost?

There will come a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person started hating us but because we found out that they’d be happier if we let them go.

It’s hard to pretend you love someone when you don’t. But it’s harder to pretend you don’t love someone when you really do.

It is sad to be with someone you think you love only to realise later on that your heart still belongs and will always long for the person you left behind.

Must you be so right?!

It hurts.

Like a Coach

Hello!

Today I went skating with my brother and cousins. I was taken too because I was the only one who can skate well in the family at that time, well my sister can't come due to meeting. So yeah, I was a one day coach for free, well I got to skate for free too! I love it :P

I kind of regret for being so lazy to exercise because........ it hurts my right arm muscle. Why? Well......

My cousins can't skate, skate level: zero.

They had to hold on to me and put all their weight on my right arm, because they were so afraid to fall. That's normal for beginner, because I was like that too. Only the different, I was a small skinny kid and the one who taught me to skate was my older cousin who was far older than me and can handle my weight. Now, I handle people who are heavier than me *laughs*

When I was teaching my cousin, a legal couch (LOL legal couch?! Yeah, I was illegal!) came to me and said, "You can't walk hand-in-hand like that, it's dangerous!" He kinda scolded me. So I replied, "I'm coaching her, she's a beginner", and that shut him up and he left us too :)

And that day was the very first time I've ever shouted at/scolded a stranger in public. She was a beginner but she tried to skate in speed, I was skating slowly with my cousin hand-in-hand, teaching her the easy and safe way to skate and to stop moving. She bumped into me....... with her speed, which made me stumbled and almost fell on my cousin. That was the real danger -_- where's the legal coach now! Reprimand her! And in reflect I shouted at her, "HEY!!!!" and she ran away....... Grrr. Good thing I didn't fall on my cousin.

She played too much, she played for 4 hours, and she hurt her ankles. Worse.... she fell down and can't move. I had to drag her on her knees out of the rink :( I feel sorry for her.

Hope you've recovered, Mich!

Night!